Wednesday, January 27, 2016

thoughts on motherhood..

I almost can't believe that we are 8 weeks in to this whole parenting business!  That's right!  Our little man is 8 weeks old today.  And boy what a ride it has been.  Haha.  I've been thinking a lot the past few days about motherhood and what it means to me and how it has totally changed my life.  I felt like maybe I wanted to share some thoughts on this here blog.  So here it goes...
I hope he loves this little bear!
This has definitely been the greatest and hardest time in my life.  I honestly have never felt emotions like these before.  I can't even believe how much love I feel for Logan.  I want him to achieve all his dreams in life.  I want to protect him from the world and from any harm or danger.  I want him to love me forever and consider me a best friend.  I want to teach him and help him to learn for himself.  I want him to always remember what is most important in life and to never lose sight of his end goals.  I could go on and on, but basically I just want him to be happy.  The happiest of all happy things.  I don't even like to think about the "what if's" because I know that things will get hard.  I know that I won't always be his favorite person, and that he'll have to make hard choices and maybe even suffer through some stuff.  I'm sure it will break my heart to see him sad and upset.  That being said, I want to not let that trouble me.  Right now, I want to be in this moment.  I am going to just soak in all of his quirks and smiles.  His funny sounds and squishy baby rolls.  Because just like everyone said, it goes by way too fast.  Already, I feel like the days fly by.  It's so weird.  It's like all  I think about is when he needs to eat again and when he needs to nap and then all of a sudden, the day is over.  Another day gone.  I feel so extremely grateful though, that I get to be here with him every day.  That I have a husband who wants me here as much as I want to be here and who works his bum off to make sure that happens.  Gosh I have so much to be grateful for.  I really do.  

"please??" :)

With that being said, I have to get real here for a sec.  Being a mother is not all rainbows and butterflies.  It's flipping hard.  Sometimes I cry for no reason.  Other times I get ridiculously angry over nothing at all.  There are times when I pray that I will get to sleep just a little bit longer at night so that I can actually function the next day.  I sometimes wish that I could have a break and think that it would be so nice to have a little bit of freedom.  I have to remind myself that this doesn't end, and it is literally a "24/7" job.  I sometimes find myself being envious of Dallin.  He gets to go to work and school and I stay home and do more dishes and more cleaning and change more diapers.  There are moments when I really struggle to figure out what Logan needs and his cries make my heart break.  Then there is that whole post pregnancy body thing.  Ugh.  I just really feel uncomfortable in my body right now.  I don't know what it is.  I feel pudgy and gross.  (It doesn't help that I don't shower every day haha)  I also have newly found curves in a few areas that I've never had curves before.  Basically, life just changed A LOT.

Sweetest sad face!

Ok so now that I've had my pity party, I will chill out.  Because honestly, I have never been happier.  As I'm writing this post, Logan is just sleeping in my lap.  He's sort of snoring and making the cutest faces in his sleep.  I look at him and everything is worth it.  The tears and the lack of sleep don't mean anything.  I have this beautiful, healthy baby boy and my heart might actually burst.  I love Dallin more than ever.  Just watching him be a Daddy is one of the greatest things of my life.  I love Logan more than I thought possible.  I have a beautiful life and a beautiful family.  I know that God intended for us to have families.  There is nothing greater.  I have an eternal family.  It's amazing.  I may have hard days every now and then, but honestly, they just disappear into all of the good days.    

Already this little has brought so much happiness into our lives.  There is something crazy magical how his smile can simply melt my whole being.  I think I would do just about anything to see that cheesy grin come on his face!  Being a mom is what I was meant to do.  I know it.  I can't wait to keep going on this crazy adventure!

Smiling at Mama!  

Thanks for making me a mother, Logy Bear!

Thursday, January 21, 2016

One Month

Ok so I have been meaning to do monthly updates on our little man, but I am a little behind.  So this post is coming close to his 2 month mark.  Oops.  Don't worry, I did make notes on stuff from his first month knowing that one day I would be writing this.  Oh, and I plan to post A LOT of pictures.  I have to.  He's too cute not to. Plus I am the worst at narrowing things down.'re welcome.  Haha.

Wow.  Being a parent is unlike anything I could've ever imagined.  It is hard and exhausting and the most glorious thing I have ever experienced!  Dallin and I are so lucky!

Ben came up and took some family pics when Logan was 2 weeks. I will post more later :)

From day one, Logan has just been an angel baby!  He has the sweetest temperament.  He really only cries when he is hungry or especially tired.  (I'm working on preventing that haha.)  He has a tenderness about him that just softens everyone's hearts.  It is the coolest thing to watch.  Everyone keeps asking me how he is and how I'm doing, and I just feel so happy!  He is such a good baby, and I am soaking up every minute with this sweet boy!

Oh I could just squish him!

Here are a few things about Logan's first month:

He weighed in at 11 lbs 4 oz and is still 21(ish) inches long.  He is growing like mad!  Getting chubbier and chubbier every day!  It's amazing to me how much babies change in just a matter of weeks.  It really is remarkable.

Laying in his new bed.

First bedtime story with Dad.

He makes thee cutest noise when he has a sneeze that doesn't come.  I've been trying to record it, but I can never catch it!  Hopefully I will soon and when I do, I will post it :)

He is too precious.

His hands are so little!!

Love this face!!   He's got a real good scowl. Haha.

He has started to follow objects with his eyes!  He hasn't quite started to really make eye contact and focus, but he will at least follow the general movement.  Along with this, he will turn towards people's voices.  I love it!  He's starting to recognize both my voice and Dallin's.

Naptime with mum.

Little smiles :)

Loved his first bath at home!

Sweetest face!!

Smiles have been coming much more frequently lately.  They are still reflexive ones, but at least there are lots of them!  I think his little grins are so adorable!  I can't get enough of them!  Please bless he starts to smile at me soon! Haha.

Another thing Logan has just started to do is cuddling.  Not a ton yet, and not super cuddly, but he will let his arms sort of fall around me.  It just melts my heart!  It's like a sweet baby hug!  There's nothing better!

Hangin' with Dad

He sleeps like this 90% of the time :)

I almost forgot!  He also really likes to have his left eye partially open haha.  It tends to kind of creep us out, but he apparently needs to know what's going on at all times. ;)

"Little Bambino"

In 0-3mo clothes now!


That's a bit about Logan's first month in this crazy new world!  He is doing so well and just a happy little chub!  We love him and are so excited to see how he continues to grow!

Baby Boy Wood

When we got to the hospital, we left our bags in the car thinking we would go home like most first time parents do.  We walked up to the L&D and I told them I thought I was in labor.  They admitted me at 9:07AM.  We were taken to a Triage room where a nurse came in and asked me a million questions.  Then she decided to check me since they have to recheck at an hour to see if you have progressed.  Well lo and behold, I was at an 8!  That's right an 8.  I about died.  I couldn't believe.  Both Dallin and I were like, "um, what??" Haha.  So I was admitted for real into a delivery room.

Just found out we are having a baby today!

This was actually before that previous pic.
 Just after we had been taken to the triage room.

I had decided I was going to try and go natural which was turning out to be very difficult.  At about 1:30 after having struggled to keep my cool through the contractions, I started to get nervous.  My water still had not broken naturally and I knew that once they broke it my contractions would get worse and I just did not know if I could handle that.  Once I started to get freaked out I knew it was time to get the epidural.  I wanted to enjoy this day and not be terrified of what was coming.  Dallin and I talked it over and an hour later Dr. Patel gave me the sweet juice of happiness!  Seriously.  It was amazing!  I no longer was having to tell Dallin to stop talking to me so I could convince myself that this"pressure" was not "pain."  I could laugh and joke. I could feel each contraction and still be happy.  I have no idea why I ever thought it would be cool to go natural.  Haha.  No it is cool to go natural.  If that's for you, great, but I think I will take that epidural and enjoy every minute of my labor and delivery.

Feelin' pretty good with that epidural. (maybe not looking so good haha)

Anywho, they broke my water shortly thereafter and that was a good thing.  It was 2:30PM and I was only at a 9.  Once they broke my water, he dropped farther down into my pelvis and I started to progress a bit faster.  It's kind of crazy though, because I still had 5 more hours to go.  I have no idea why it took so long.  I kind of feel like the nurses weren't checking me enough.  That also may be my fault since I wasn't telling them to.  I know that I had an "anterior lip" which they wanted to wait on so that I would have a smooth pushing phase.  I am grateful for that, but really?  Five hours to go from a 9 to pushing?  Crazy talk.

So finally at 5-ish the nurse said I was good to do a little test pushing.  Apparently they like to see how good you are at getting that baby out.  Well I pushed like 3 times and she told me to stop and that she would let me rest for about an hour and she'd come back and try again.  Another hour??  Really lady?  I'm exhausted already and waiting that long to get this baby out is not going to make me any less exhausted.  Of course I didn't say that.  Instead I said ok and waited for another dumb hour. Haha.

She came back at about 6:40 and had me push again.  I pushed through 3 contractions and she told me to stop and close my legs.  Well my legs were dead at this point, so really Dallin held my legs together while she went to call the doc.  I decided to have them bring in a mirror to be able to watch when the nurse and Dallin both said our baby had curly dark hair.  I simply had to see!  The doctor got there shortly after 7 and they got everything set up.  We just chatted and laughed while I watched as my baby continued to descend as I would push through the contractions.  I only pushed for about 20 minutes and our sweet baby boy was born.  Logan Collin Wood.  Holy poop was that the coolest thing ever!  It was so surreal.  They put him immediately on my stomach and while he was crying I went to touch him and he grabbed my hand!  I about died of tenderness overload.  Seriously, HEART BURSTING!!  They sort of rubbed him down a bit and then I got to do skin-to-skin.  That is one of the coolest things.  He almost immediately calmed down.  And we just got to lay there together.  He just entered this whole new world, but he knew me.  So precious.

Thee most amazing thing in all the world!

He didn't love getting his measurements and what not.  

Definitely a Wood baby ;)

Precious moments with Daddy!

Breastfeeding went amazingly.  He latched right on and fed for a good half hour.  He was then weighed and measured.  He was a good 7lbs 2oz and 21 inches long.  Perfect baby, perfect size.  Then we spent some quality family time before we invited people to come see our new babe.  It was the coolest thing to watch Dallin hold his son for the first time.  There was just so much love and happiness!

Tired, but so so happy!

We were moved to room 4221 and then we let the family come in and see.  Dallin's parents and Sarah were the first ones to see him.  They had actually been at the hospital almost all day haha.  We really should've had him much sooner!  I feel bad they had to wait so long!  And then I didn't even get pictures of them with Logan :(  Ugh.  It was so cool though to see how much love everyone had for Logan.  He's a lucky guy.  Heather and Kathryn showed up next and then my parents.  Lots of happy and excited tears.  This was real life.  We now had a son.  He's ours and will be forever and ever.

Grand baby #5!

The next day and a half at the hospital are a bit foggy.  Jessica and Shae came to visit.  The Deppe grandparents and Lara came as well.  We just rested and tried to take it all in.

All ready to head home!

We are one happy family!

Dallin said he looks like a gangster haha.

We came home on December 4, 2015 and our lives will never be the same!!

Back at it Again

It has once again been far too long since I have last blogged.  It's time to repent and try again.  I am hoping now that life has changed significantly for me, I will be able to sort of schedule in some blog time.  That way you lovely folks who read this blog will be semi updated on  life here at our place!  Because it has simply been too long for me to actually post about everything that has happened, I will just hit the major stuff and throw in some pics for the rest of it.

April was a pretty crazy month for us!  I started back to school, we decided to start looking for a home to buy, and on April 14th, 2015 we found out that I was PREGNANT!!  That's right.  Preggo.  It was thee craziest thing!  We had been trying for several months but had decided to take a little break (so as to not have another December babe in the family).  Well little did we know, that our little babe wanted to come anyway.  After taking 4 pregnancy tests, we knew it was legit.  I was 6 weeks when we found out, and the reason I took a few tests in the first place was because my favorite food (rice and cheese) started making me very ill. That weekend we told our parents and then our immediate family.  Everyone was happy and excited for us!  It is the first Wood grand-baby and first great grand-baby for that side as well.  Carla and Collin took us out shopping the very day we told them and got us some clothes and burp cloths, etc.  So lovely!  And my parents had some gifts just waiting for us! Haha.  We told our parents with a children's book.  We bought each of them a copy of Brown Bear, Brown Bear What do you see? and inside we wrote a little note from Baby Wood.  I thought it was pretty cute!  So that was the beginning of our little adventure! Oh!  And we found out the due date for our little one was December 12, 2015 and got our first ultrasound!

I have to post these two pics because on April 12th my mom gave
me this maternity dress, just for fun, and we took these to send to
family as a prank.  We found out we were pregnant 2 days later. Haha 
Food baby is actually a real baby! ;)
3 of the 4 tests :)

Grandma and Grandpa Wood! 
The loot from the Woods!  Lucky baby!

The cute present from my parents :)

On our way to the first ultrasound!

So so excited!!

First ever pic of our wee one!  

May I was still feeling incredibly sick.  I lost a bunch of weight and was just feeling all kinds of emotions in that first trimester.  Definitely not my most favorite time. Haha.  We did get another ultrasound this month though!  Ben graduated from the U this month!  Super cool!  We were still looking for a home to buy in the Washington Terrace/Ogden area.  Dallin was just working away at Just Fitness.  Sarah moved in with us for a month until her Ogden apartment became available.  I finished school, which was incredibly glorious.  On Memorial day we announced our pregnancy to my extended family.  It was awkward...but also cool.  Everyone was really excited and happy for us!

Listening to a million graduates names haha

Way to go Ben!

Our little peanut!

Last day of school with my girl Sam!

Dinosaurs at the zoo!

Zoo day with the Fam Bam


How we announced the pregnancy

In June we announced our pregnancy to Dallin's extended family at the Maddox reunion shindig.  Again, a bit awkward but super cool.  And of course we have no pictures of that.  I really need to up my picture taking skills.  Seeing as it is the first baby on that side, everyone was thrilled! :)  I got my cosmetology license and started work at Essensual Hair Design in South Ogden.  We got another ultrasound and it was just incredible!  He was sucking his thumb and everything!  And later in the month we made the pregnancy news public, AKA shared it on social media.  Which I guess is kind of a big deal. Haha.  Also this month, Dallin's parents approached us about selling their home to us.  After much deliberation we decided to do it and we set the wheels in motion!

Feeling legit!

This pic is so lame, but it's the only one I took of
my first day haha.  Oops.

Sucking his little thumb!

Baby's first swim day at Layton Surf n' Swim

Took a nice walk to the temple this month as well :)

July was a fun month!  We somehow won an Instagram giveaway and got a bunch of baby stuff which was awesome!  We won a baby monitor, a stroller, a play yard, and this weird night light thing haha.  We went camping to Tanner Flats over the 4th of July and it was fun, as camping always is.  We went to a Bee's game and did other fun things this month as well. On the 24th of July we went to fireworks in Brigham City with Dallin's family which was also cool.  I just love fireworks!  On July 22, 2015 we found out that our sweet baby was a BOY!  We were both surprised!  I was convinced it was a girl and we both kind of wanted a girl.  All that aside, we were so so so happy!  A wee boy was coming to our family!  Who wouldn't be thrilled??  At the anatomy ultrasound, everything looked great!  He was a funny little guy!  He wouldn't cooperate at all haha.  We were there for over an hour trying to get all the angles and pics that they needed to make sure everything looked good.  I even had to get up and pee and come back to see if he would move! Haha.  He was just kickin' back and not wanting to budge.  I secretly loved it.  Or maybe not so secretly...haha.  It was fun to see his personality a bit :)  The next day (23rd) I headed out to the Great White North with my Padres.  In other words, we went to North Dakota to visit Carissa, Tanner and Harvey.  We were up there for 10 days and it was so fun!  We went to the state fair, and the lake, and played games, and went to the Teddy Roosevelt National Park, and ate...a lot.  It was all good fun.  Dallin was in school for the summer so he unfortunately didn't get to play much with us :(

Our Instagram winnings :)
Bee's Game

Fireworks on the 24th

So excited to find out the gender!! (18.5 weeks!)

It's a boy!!!

His little profile is just adorable!

The telling butt shot. Haha.

Off to North Dakota!

Story time.

Playin' at the park


Teaching baby how to shoot trap.

I just had to share this adorable thing! 

Some good lakeside fun

August 3, 2015 we closed on our new house!  Everything worked out and we bought Dallin's old home in the good ole city of Kaysville!  On August 4th the home was officially ours!  We did stay in our apartment in Ogden for most of the month though because Carla and Collin were waiting for their new apartment at City Creek to become available.  August 15th was our 2 year anniversary!  Crazy how time flies!  We were poor and couldn't really do anything haha.  We actually ended up just going camping again with my family that weekend to Payson Lake.  It was fun!  At the end of the month we started to pack up our apartment and on August 28th we official moved into our home!! Oh!  And Dallin started school again and I quit my Target job :)

2 wonderful years!

So happy to be moving!

Packing up our little apartment.

Cake from my Target coworkers. So nice!

Closing on the house!!

Celebrating home ownership with some Cafe Rio :)

September was a busy month for us!  We had a few projects that we wanted to get done before the baby came.  We first wanted to get the master bedroom made back into a master bedroom, and we also wanted to get the bedroom upstairs turned into a nursery.  Well, like all home projects go, they turned out to be a lot more than we had planned on.  We finished the closet and did some patchwork and such, but I had decided that I wanted to change out the baseboards.  Whilst we were tearing out baseboard, we found a real problem.  There was a bunch of mold/water damage from a leak in the bathroom and since it shares a wall with the master bedroom, it was a problem in our room as well.  We ended up tearing down and re-framing that wall, replacing the floor under the bathtub and the floor just a couple feet out on the bedroom side.  I'm slightly ashamed to say that the bathroom is still torn apart, 4 months later. Ugh.  It'll get finished eventually!  So once that was all done and the sheet rock was put back up, we painted.  We decided on gray walls, and honestly, we love it!  We put in new carpet and with the new paint, it looks brand new!  It seriously is great!  We finished that room in November haha.  This month we took our "Child Birth Prep" class.  I loved it!  Definitely helped me feel a lot better about what to expect with this whole birthing business. :)  I turned 24 this month.  We went to Granny Annie's for breakfast and it was delicious!

28 weeks!

A before pic

Working on our awesome walk-in closet

Father and son working hard!

The mold we found. Eeek! 

Dallin being all cool and manly with the metal grinder.

Putting the wall back up. (notice the nice floor in the bathroom!)

And with the sheet rock, it looks almost done! haha

Painting away!

So handsome :)

We LOVE this paint color!

Fixed floor and new baseboards!

Dallin was so amazing at doing all these new projects on his own!
He was born to be a homeowner ;)
Child Birth Prep Class

He loved that Empathy belly ;)

Birthday shenanigans at Granny Annie's

What a cutie!

So much food!!  

October we were still doing the master bedroom.  I was able to attend a Relief Society Retreat with my mom, aunts and Kelsey.  It was so fun!  We had our annual Stoddard Halloween party.  This year Dallin and I sort of failed at planning ahead and thus we wore sheets to be Roman people haha.  Super cool.  I know.  Also this month, we sold my grandparents home in Taylorsville.  We had a huge 2 day estate sale.  It was pretty fun and a bit stressful haha.  I couldn't believe how much stuff my grandparents had.  A lot of it was really cool!  Dallin and I got a glider (which is ah-may-zing  haha) and a few things for the garage.

30 weeks!

I just love these people! (RS Retreat)

Our super awesome Halloween costumes haha

Fun at the yard sale! Vienna being sassy as usual ;)

November we finished the master bedroom (like I stated before) and were finally able to start on the nursery.  After many struggles to find a good theme, we decided to go with the quilt that my mom made for the babe.  We didn't find any mold in this room, thank goodness!  All we had to do was pretty much clean and paint.  It turned out perfect.  I just love his room!  My favorite part is of course, his library.  He's a lucky boy to have so many awesome books!  This month I also started to have my baby showers!  We have thee greatest friends and family!  Literally.  I couldn't even believe how spoiled we were!  We pretty much got everything that we could've needed for this little guy!  Thanksgiving was with the Wood family down at City Creek and I unfortunately did not get any pictures.  The whole Wood family was there as well as Lara, and Grandma and Grandpa Deppe.  The food was amazing and I ate way more then I thought was even possible! Haha.    We played nintendo and slept and ate some more.  It was a lovely day!  Oh!  And it was my last week at Essensual Hair as well.  Sad, but good.  The last week of November I got our Christmas all put out.  It was a good thing too because...

Carpet is in!

The finished master bedroom

Working on the nursery

Mom was a HUGE help in all the projects!
Painting away!

It's hard to tell, but this blue is awesome!

The quilt my mom made. It's beautiful!

All put together minus the book shelves...

and with the shelves! These are my favorite part!
Care First shower

Friend shower

Family shower. (I didn't take any real pics haha)

First Christmas in our home!
This was 38 weeks and the last pic I took as a prego lady! (We had Logan 3 days later)
Ready for baby!

December 1, I started to feel what I thought were contractions.  They started early in the morning, but they were about 30 minutes apart.  By the end of the day, they had become quite irregular, so I didn't get my hopes up.  That night though, I hardly slept at all.  I think part of it was contractions and the other part was that I was freaking out because of the contractions. ;)  December 2, they were coming pretty regularly, but probably about 12 minutes apart.  Our doctor told us to hold off going to the hospital until they were coming every 5 min for 2 hours.  That seemed like forever away!  At about 8AM, I went pee, and right after that I could hardly walk because they were coming so often! Plus I was spotting, which freaked Dallin and I out, so we decided to head to the hospital!

I want to do a birth story post, so there is a little run down of the past almost year of life for us!  Continue to the next post for the birth and after :)